Monday, May 4, 2009

A pile of rocks

There are many examples of in the Old Testament of piles of rocks placed on a spot where God had revealed Himself in a mighty way. Noah, Abram, Isaac, Jacob, Joshua, and Samuel were all alter builders. Joshua tells his people, "..that this may be a sign among you. When your children ask in time to come, 'What do those stones mean to you?' then you shall tell them that that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the the ark of the covenant of the Lord." Joshua 4:6-7. Maybe for me, some of my blog entries are my "pile of rocks". Interesting that a simple pile of rocks could be a tribute to an awe inspiring living God. Certainly, the pile itself does nothing to impress Him. I'm betting it is the heart of the people who place the rocks one by one that brings God glory.

I was reading some of my previous posts. I wanted to see were my "heart" was 1 month ago, 3 weeks ago and so on. You see, my circumstances have changed. The thing that I was praising God for only a week ago has been temporarily or permanently placed on hold. I have been unusually calm but slightly melancholy. I'm just taking some time to process the change and adjust. I had gotten used to the idea of having five children. I was enjoying the added personality and I was even feeling some warm and fuzzy "mommy feelings" towards the new little person in our home. Several times during last week, I caught myself watching all five of "my" kids and just welling up. I felt so blessed! Now that the situation has changed, am I less blessed? By no means. Right now, I'm praising Him for giving me a sense of perspective and focus. I'm an emotionally driven person so whenever I respond to a situation calmly, I know it's from God! Also, I'm more determined then ever to stay planted on my "Thy will be done" mantra. I do now know the ways of God. I do not know what is best for me. I've started to mature at the age of 42 to realize that not everything I "want" is what I "need".

I have a confession to make. Sometimes, when I hear the phrase "God is so good!", it makes me cringe. Not because it is not true but because the context in which it is most often used. I usually hear it after some situation involving much prayer on the part of a believer. God has responded in the way that the believer was "hoping" he would. Then those around him rejoice. Sometimes I wonder why we don't hear it more during times when God closes doors or answers in ways we were "hoping He wouldn't". I think most of us recognize that God is good all the time. His goodness is not dependent on our perceptions of our situation. I'm so grateful for that.

So today, I looked back on some of my piles of rocks. I believe that God prompted our Old Testament heroes to build the alters, not because He needed it but because we did. We forget so much of what God has done after He has done it. The ways He has given, the ways He had protected and the ways He has stretched us to new growth. So today, things are different then they were last week. My house is completely quiet. There is no little guy to interact with or work my schedule around. I miss him. In many ways it is different, but in many ways everything is exactly the same. God is still good!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Kids just want to have fun!

One of the great things about having kids is that you have an excuse to do things you might not normally do. Last night, we went to a barn dance! I have not do-see-doed since Jr high gym class. It really was so much fun. One the best parts was just looking around at some of our friends. Realizing that we really have grown some tight bonds. We look out for each others kids, we help each other out but we also just laugh a lot! At several points during the evening, I was watching the kids interact. They are growing up together and it is exciting to watch them develop. As the parents deepen their friendships the kids are doing the same. I hope we dance at all of their weddings! Maybe a do-see-doe!