Because you said so!

Luke 5:5. "Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets." This verse is haunting me. We recently had a great sermon at church that focused on this passage. Then in my quiet time I came across it again. I have been thinking about how we think we know so much. How from our perspective we can figure out the best move or our next steps. Isn't God so funny? He allows us to feel comfortable in our "knowledge" and then demonstrates to us how we know nothing! Here is the expert fisherman, Simon, he has done everything in his power to get the job done. He caught nothing! Not only has he given up for the day but he has already cleaned his nets. Now, Jesus, the carpenter, tells him to cast out and do it all over again. I love Simon's response. Basically, he says, nothing you are telling me makes any sense but because the direction came from you, I will obey. I wish I had faith like that day in and day out. I know I have had little "Simon moments" along the way. Times where I finally opened my hand and let go of what I desired only to rejoice that God had so much more in store for me.
But today I rejoice that I am in the midst of the largest stretch of "Simon days" I have ever experienced. I don't know why God has given me such peace. There is no recipe that I can look at and say, "This is what I did differently". My quiet time is still sporadic, my prayer time is unorganized...I still yell at my kids and refuse to apologize. All I know is that I have been praying the Lord's prayer over a situation in my life and I have experienced the ability to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and trust Him.
Tomorrow, Austin is moving in! It is so convoluted. So crazy. So surreal. Some might look at me and say that I don't seem excited. They would misinterpret my outward behavior. The reality is that since about 4 days after the social worker called to say "It is never going to happen", I knew it WAS going to happen. God spoke to my heart in such a way as to say "Go ahead with your life. Don't get bogged down. I've got this. Trust me." Maybe I have had such peace because I'm already a busy mommy of 4. Maybe I could take or leave one more. Maybe I'm tired and realize that more is more work. Maybe. But I don't think I'm neutral or unconcerned about this little boy's life. I just think my Father spoke to me in such a way that closed the door on any anxiety or fear that I would normally experience. Most days, I feel like a wave tossed around. My experience of God is based on the circumstances in my life. I hate that about myself! But in the case of Austin and how God will provide for him and for us along the way, He has given me the power to keep my eyes solely on Him! I love the view!